Here Comes The Bride...

The Christian wedding, with the bride in white with a flowing veil, the flower girls, the organ music all seem elements from a fairy tale. But the wedding and wedding caremonies are as real and as serious as any other wedding-with a commitment to link one's life with one's partner in sickness and in health till death parts them.

The Christian wedding is usually a solmen affair, more formal than many other Indian weddings which involve a lot more interactivity, sound and colour. However Indian Christian weddings are as varied as Indian Christians! With a rich heritage that goes back to the first century A.D. and the arrival of St. Thomas to Kerala coast, the Portuguese several centuries later and of course the British, Christian weddings in India are an eclectic and joyous spectrum of protestant, catholic, eastern, western and other customs and traditions.

In the west, the preparation includes the choosing of the bridesmaids. The flower firls, the best man, the venue...the list is endless. The dress is usually a gown in white or off white, although pastels in white or off white, although pastels are not uncommon today. It is not unusual in the west to wear the gown of one's mother or grandmother as it need not necessarily be new. In fact there is a familiar refrain about what a bride needs for her wedding day - "Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue..."

In India however a new dress is more than a new dress - it is a new beginning and the bridal dress is thus usually new. While some communities wear gowns, in many cases the white gowns has been substituted by a white, cream or even red sari. This is usually worn with a lacy white veil.

The custom of posting banns is followed. This is an announcement of the intended betrothal of the bride and groom. The Purpose of this custom is to give the public a chance to object to the union if some constraint exists. On the same note, the priest gives those gathered a chance to raise objections again during the caremony. Today, it is not uncommon for a health. Certificate to be submitted when submitting the application for the marriage. This is to protect the couple in case of the presence of communicable diseases.

Other customs prevail like the tossing of the bridal bouquet, the toast, the wedding march, but many of the customs have become Indianised over the years thus creating an interesting amalgam. Traditional Syrian Christian weddings saw the arrival of the thattan or goldsmith, the tailor, the carpenter and others like the barber and the washer woman at the home of the bride the day before the wedding. To recognize the value of the services provided by them, they were given a measure or rice, a raw bunch of a cocunut bananas, oil, or dakshina of one rupee.

On the night before the wedding, seven threads are removed from the mantrakodi or the caremonial sari presented to the bride by the groom. These are twisted and the thali or marriage locket is suspended on it. Interestingly many communities of Christian take into account rahukalam (an inauspicious time by astrological reckoning).

An unusual caremony followed by some, takes place on the morning of the wedding. The groom and the bride in their respective houses gift a sum of money wrapped in a betel leaf to their first teacher. This is part of a caremony called Yatra Choikuga (asking leave to depart for a journey).

The wedding caremony itself becomes an occassion to establish a correlation between the life of Christ is the bridegroom of the Church, marriage should be held holy."

A reading from the Gospel usually includes the verse "Husbands, love your wives even as Christ also loved the Church and gave Himself for it. The thali is then tied and rings may be exchanged. The ring is believed to be a symbol of fulfillment and complereness, but to many the thali remains the chief symbol of marriage.

In some marriages, the mantrakodi is placed over the bride's bead and shoulders, and she later changes into it. Now she belongs to the groom's family. The thali itself is often a cross while some have the cross on a leaf shape or a heart shape, while others retain the traditional symbols of their communities..

Some communities like the Anglo Indians wear the thali on a gold chain while some use a whie thread.

Ohter interesting sidelights occur in the different wedding. In Goa, the bride is the one who must put the parental house door shut before leaving for the church. One of the customs which is prevalent even in the west is the throwing of rice on the bridal couple as they leave the curch. The rice is believed to be a symbol of fertility and is thus considered auspicious.

Perhaps the best indication of the importance of marriage is found in the scriptures:

"Whosoever findeth a wife findeth a good thing,
And obtaineth the favour of the Lord."