The First Year

The wedding is over. The notes of the nadaswaram fade from our minds. The mehendi on the bride's hands becomes dull and slowly fades away. However the caremonies are far from over. A number of small and private ceremonies are conducted through the first year of marriage regularly reinforcing the new relationship and its importance. Not at all communities have similar ceremonies. Each one has its own functions and rituals and times for celebration. The first major ceremony after a Telugu wedding is the Padaharu Rojula Panduga or the 16th day festival conducted in the groom's house. This is the time when the mangalsutra is joined on a single thread or gold chain. During the wedding they are joined. Black heads are worn threaded between the pendants. The belief is that it is inauspicious for the pendants to touch each other, however practically it may be to avoid wear by the older ladies and is not allowed to talk while this is done. The navadhanya which is sprouted during the wedding caremonies has now grown into small saplings. These five pots are now given to five sumangalis who either keep it in their gardens or immerse it in the well or river. The threads too are kept in the pot given to the mother in law.

In Uttar Pradesh, the bride's brother goes to the house of the groom and invites her for raksha bandhan. After the festival, the groom comes to take her back. This is particularly important in the first year of marriage. All other festivals are celebrated in the house of the groom but sweets and clothes are sent by the family of the bride.

In the Telugu custom though, all the festivals are celebrated in the home of the bride and the groom and his family are invited for them.

In the Konkani wedding, the puja conducted for varalakshmi is very important in the first year. Five coconuts are offered - one to the family deity, one to the priest, two to married girls whose parents and in-laws are alive and then to the husband. The pancharangi thread is tied to the wrist of the bride by the groom. After this the puja is conducted every year.

Among the Chettiars, close relatives of the groom are invited to the temple chariot festival held in the bride's house. If for any reason they cannot come, they visit the temple the next day.

Among Sindhis, a function called Satavara is held on the second day when the bride's family invites relatives from both sides. This is a chance to get to know each other. A younger brother or cousin comes to take the bride and she goes wearing clothes given by her in-laws. She spends the day with her family and in the evening the groom is fetched. They are served a special meal and leave together and are usually given gifts.

Among the Mudaliars a function is held in the third month after the marriage at the house of the bride. The bride sits on a plank covered with a white cloth. The thali is then transferred to a gold chain or a thinner thread. Although the exact details of the ceremony varies, this is fairly common throughout India.

Among the South Indian Brahmins, the first Diwali is considered particularly auspicious and is celebrated at the home of the bride.

The first year after marriage is always special. It is filled with dreams and hopes for a future of togetherness. In the Indian ethos, marriage is a union of not just individuals, but of families again and again in establishing a relationship that will last forever.