Wedding in the Epics

Once upon a time...Turn the pases of our great epics and we discover a whole heritage of wedding customs and traditions - each reflective of the spirit of the times, the values, beliefs and a way of life. The two great epics of India, the Ramayana and the Mahabarata in particular is more than an epic-it is a tale of romance, of heroic deeds, of the triumph of good over evil. And through it all, intrinsically woven into its framework, are the numerous weddings that very often change the course of happenings.

The story of Krishna is another romance full of the troubles, turmoils and obstacles that have to be overcome before the couple is united in marriage.

Interesting is significance is the value placed on the preferences of the girl. Contrary to popular belief, the woman were highly respected and their wishes accepted. It was a rare case when they were forced to marry against their wished. Where parents were adamant, other members usually stepped in to help the maiden in love. More often than not, the outnumbered parents gave their consent.

Vatsala, the daughter of Balarama, Krishna's brother was in love with Abhimanyu, Arjuna's son. Her father though wished his daughter to wed Akshyakumar the son of Duryodhana. Krishna stepped in and told Abhimanyu to seek the help of Gatotkacha - Bhima's son. After a number of interesting sidelights, Gatotkacha and Krishna hetched a plot. On the day of the wedding, Gatotkacha took the guise of Vatsala and went to the marriage hall. His magic gave him the power to appear in different forms to Akshayakumar alone. When Akshyakumar saw what he thought was his bride look like a lion or tiger in turn, he took to his heels.

Krishna intervened and ensured that Vatsala married Abhimanyu. Balarama with no option consented and the marriage took place. This story is interestingly and quite humorously portrayed in Maya Bazar, an old and popular movie.

Among the Kshatriyas in particular, wedding matched were usually decided by a swayamvara, all the eligible men were invited. The girl was briefed about them before hand and usually had a glimpse of them from her windows. Having heard about their accomplishments and seen them, she was often able to choose with no trouble at all.

At other times marriages were a politicaldeal or a gesture or respect. While the Pandavas were in exile they stayed in disguise at the court of Virata. They assisted in a Kauvara attack and were triumphant. The king was pleased and offered his daughter Uttara in marriage to Arjuna. Due to certain obstacles she married Abhimanyu, his son.

Another common way of fixing a marriage was through a content with the winner selected as the groom. While contents of wit and wisdom were not unknown, they more often dealt with strength, valour and marksmanship.

Perhaps the most famous of these was the test set by Janaka, the father of Sita. The lucky suitor had to string Rudra's bow. This was an ancient and heavenly bow which few ordinary men could even move. Arjuna's feat in winning Draupadi is a similar one. Here the winner had to string a similar one. Here the winner had to string a mighty steel bow and shoot an arrow through the central aperture of a revolving disc.

Of course there were times when in the true spirit of romance and love the groom carried away the girl of his dreams. Rukmini was the daughter of Bhishmaka the king of Vidharbha. From an early age, she had heard stories of Krishna's valour and charm and fallen in love with him. Her brother though had other ideas. She sent a letter of seven slokas to Krishna asking him to rescue her. This was probably the first ever love letter and there is a belief even today that chanting those slokas will bring a happy marriage. On receiving the letter, Krishna arrived at the marriage, carried Rukmini away and married her.

Krishna has always embodied the dash and romance of love and charm. There is a saying that one can even count the stars in the sky, but not Krishna's brides. Rama on the other hand embodies the serious, the responsible and the committed. His marriage to Sita is in the true spirit of unity till "death do us part."

Perhaps these are no more than various facets of life. The serious and the fun loving, the responsible and the colourful... both complementing each other.

Many other weddings feature in the epics... and many others form a part of the cultural ethos of our times. Shiva married Parvati... but before the marriage there were many hurdles to cross. Gods and Goddesses were no different. The course of true love rarely ran smooth. Such as the wedding that wasn't The story goes that there was a demon Banasura who was harassing the people. He could be killed only by a virgin goddess. This was when Shiva wanted to marry Parvati. The auspicious time was fixed just before dawn. However the Gods plotted to keep Parvati from marrying Shiva. As Shiva was leaving for the wedding, a coack crowed. Shiva, mistakenly thinking that the auspicious time had passed did not turn up for the wedding leaving a distraught Parvati. Interestingly, at the Kumari amman temple in kanyakumai Parvati stays the maiden - distraught by her groom's failure to make an appearance! Heroic grooms, beautiful and strongminded brides, love, honour, courage, virtue - epics illustrated a wide range of weddings - a rich legacy that remains with us. As in the words of Janaka giving Sita away, words that are uttered even today when the bride is given away:

"Here is my daughter, Seeta, who will ever tread with you the path of dharma. Take her hand in yours. Blessed and devoted, she will ever walk with you like your own shadow"

Iyam Seera mama sutaa
sahadharmacharee tava
prateechchha chainaam bhadram te
paanim grihneeshwara panina
pativrataa mahaabhaagaa
chhaayevaanugatta sadaa